Their dead partner’s photo is found on the Fireplace. Do I need to Ask Him to eliminate it?

Reader matter:

i’ve been solitary for many years! I’m ready to have a relationship once again, and I also’m not getting younger! We have satisfied an ideal guy. We both currently widowed for over six years. We set my personal images out however my memories.

I am concerned because he’s got their girlfriend’s picture hanging across hearth, and then he requested me to believe that it will not be eliminated. I understand he appreciated their, and I could not ask him to reject it.

I do not feel safe. I believe i am going to feel I’m the third person. I’m not sure how to experience it. Could I find some advice right here?

–Alondra H. (Montana)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

This actually is a fragile question and another that I get alot. I want one to reframe your idea of this photograph. The lady above the hearth just isn’t their living, breathing wife. This woman is a symbol of the loving attachment this man is able to form.

He takes his obligations very seriously. This is a good thing! He may also be concerned about the emotions of adult kids which might notice lacking photograph as their mummy being changed.

Back when I found myself a development reporter, I did a profile on a retired Air Force colonel that has made the jump to Web business person. His partner hosted our television staff at their residence when I inquired if she could provide us with an on-camera “soundbyte” about his house life, she very gracefully declined by outlining that they had been newlyweds so there was actually another woman who’d stood behind that guy for 28 years before she passed away of breast cancer.  This made the colonel provide the lady a large hug and assert that she seem with him on camera.

My guidance for you: You should not take a look at his belated girlfriend as a danger. See her as an ally. Getting rid of an image will not remove his memories, however it might drive a wedge in a budding commitment with a commitment-oriented man.

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